What's the first session like?

Hey folks, how are things going in your world? I hope you’re taking good care of yourselves these days. Last time, I shared some information about how to go about finding a therapist. If you’ve never navigated through that process, it can be kind of overwhelming, so if you’re trying to figure out where to start shopping for a therapist, I’d encourage you to go check out that post.

Today I’m going to talk about the first session with a new therapist. Even if you’ve been to therapy before, the first session can feel kind of scary and intimidating, so I hope to be able to share how I think about the first session and help you feel a little more comfortable about it.

Before the first session

If you’ve got a first session scheduled, you’ve likely spoken to the therapist or maybe their receptionist if it’s a large agency or group practice. During that phone call, you will want to ask about paperwork and if there’s anything you need to fill out prior to the appointment. In my practice, I send my paperwork electronically to the client and ask that they complete it before the first appointment. Please do take the time to read your therapist’s paperwork so you know what you are agreeing to and so you can ask any questions about it either ahead of time or at the first appointment. I know a lot of people skip over reading everything, but it really does matter!

Also before the first appointment, I think it is good to take a little time to think through what it is you are seeking therapy for and what you hope to get out of therapy. Most therapists use the first session to start to get an understanding of what you are looking for and what you want, so it’s good when a client can have a general answer to these types of questions. If you’re anything like me, it’s easy to forget to mention important symptoms or problems when you’re “on the spot” in a meeting or appointment, so I like to make a list ahead of time. Even if I don’t pull it out during the appointment, just having taken the time to make the list helps me remember everything I want to say.

At the first session

In the session, your new therapist will likely have many questions for you to answer. I have a general mental health assessment that I fill out over the course of the first session that helps me get a pretty good idea of a new client’s history and current troubles. Some questions your therapist asks will be easy and some may be more difficult or emotional to talk about. You, as the client, should always be in control of how much you are ready to share, and if your therapist asks a question you don’t feel comfortable with, you can say that you aren’t ready to go there yet.

While your therapist is getting a feel for you and your story, you should also be paying attention to how you feel about the therapist. I always tell clients that the first session is a mutual getting to know each other and that if either of us feels like it’s not going to be a good fit that I can provide them with referrals to other therapists I know and trust. Try to pay attention to how you feel as you talk to your therapist. You may not feel like you can be 100% open with them right away, but can you at least see yourself getting to that point with them? Do you feel listened to and understood? Do you feel seen? Do you feel hopeful?

All the research shows that the best predictor of success in therapy is the relationship between the therapist and the client. It will probably take more than just one session to feel sure, but I think we can get a pretty good idea whether it’s going to be a positive and supportive relationship or not within that first hour.

After the first session

Often, a first session can be intense because you are thinking and talking about your struggles, perhaps for the first time. This is especially true if you’ve never been to therapy before and haven’t shared your life story with someone in quite this way. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take some time to decompress and ground yourself with some deep breathing, gentle stretches, or a short walk before you get back to the rest of your day. You might even find a way to give yourself a treat or reward for doing a hard thing.

I think it’s a good practice after any therapy session to make a little time to reflect on and potentially write down any key ideas, insights, or takeaways from the session. This helps you bring the things you discuss in therapy into your daily life and boosts progress toward your goals. So, after the first session, you may want to spend a little more time thinking about how you felt in the session and evaluate how you feel about moving forward with this therapist.

And then (assuming it’s a good fit) keep going back!

I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions about finding a therapist and starting therapy, please feel free to email or message me. Sending you peace and good therapy ju-ju!

Until next time, take good care of yourself.

Meghan